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Are your choices messing with your emotions? — 5 Comments

  1. I found your site as a result of reading your upper room meditation in the 2020 March issue. I relate in a personal way to your story. As a result of my poor choices, I have experienced self blame and guilt for much of my life.
    I never felt that I could claim to be a child of God because of my self condemnation, but I was in a state of constant secret mental turmoil because I wanted to feel like I was “saved” but I just did not.
    I had read the Bible from start to finish before but this time of reading it and other Christian literature, I came to be able to experience the feeling of forgiveness. The Holy Spirit began to reveal things to me about myself that I had never acknowledged. I saw my total helplessness without Him and it was then that I began to have joy in my salvation, to praise God, and come to true repentance. I believe that “all things work together for those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose”. I am thankful for all of my life even the dark times, and I believe that God wills to use it for His purpose.
    I have begun to write about my spiritual journey, and I feel that it might be helpful to others who may have had similar struggles. I am conflicted, however, because I am afraid that it is all just a long comment about religious abuse of a susceptible young mind from those that meant well. To blame others is not my aim.
    I have prayed that I will overcome any blame for my own spiritual missteps that I harbor toward events or others in my past.
    I am so happy that I am where I am right now and I am convinced that I am to share the joy that I have been given, but I can only share what I have. Anything else is mute.
    I am praying for discernment about this. I apologize for the lengthy comment, but I am hoping you have a helpful suggestion.
    Thank yo for your writing. It has been helpful to me.

    • Hi, Kathy. I love your comment. I love your story – your honesty.
      I understand your dilemma in wanting to share where you’ve been and where the Lord has led you. You are wise to be cautious about how to share your story, especially since there is so much hostility and divisiveness even in the church today.
      Continue to pray for discernment. Perhaps you can begin by writing your whole story out with no deletions. And then prayerfully consider each line.
      I have often withheld parts of my story for the same reasons.
      I hope this helps at least a little.
      Thank you for reading my devotion and the added story in the March 2020 Upper Room issue – and thank you for stopping by Today Can Be Different. DO stop by again and keep in touch!

  2. Kathy, I thought a lot about your comment and feel as if my response was lacking.
    Do you have someone who knows you well (and perhaps your story), someone you trust who will be honest with you – and who is compassionate to your story? If so, perhaps this person can pray with you throughout the writing process. Ask God to help you keep your motivation for telling your story pure. I’d suggest you not mention names (of course sometimes names must be mentioned, but pray about it!).
    Pray. Pray. Pray, Kathy.
    If God is leading you to write about this, there are others needing to hear it.
    Let me know how you’re doing.

  3. Thank you for you good suggestions. Yes, I do have people that I trust to be honest with me. I’ve given the stories to my three sisters and one of my brothers. I asked them to tell me how it made them feel, and for answers to some specific questions such as: would it be harmful to anyone, would it be helpful to anyone, did it seem sincere, did it seem as if it is just me ranting, and did they think I should abandon the project.
    They could all relate to it and none of them have said I should abandon it.
    You are kind. I will pray, pray, pray as you suggested and trust that everything will unfold as it is supposed to. I will pray that I will be willing to follow the Spirit’s guidance. I will pray for you, as well. You are helping many.

    • I love the questions you asked your siblings to consider while reading your story.
      I hope you can also find mentor(s) who are not related to you, who can be completely objective.
      Continue to pray, of course. Perhaps specifically for an objective mentor who can guide you through this. Come to think of it, it may be important to also have someone who doesn’t know you or your story on your team. (This may help with objectivity.) I realize finding the right person will be challenging, but through prayer, God can bring the right person in your path.
      Don’t give up or become discouraged. Remember, it’s okay to take a breather and put the project on the shelf for a season to rest and refresh.
      By the way, I’m sorry you’ve been hurt in such a way, Kathy. Do keep me posted on your progress. Thank you for trusting me enough to ask my opinion.

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