Do you run toward – or away from – conflict?
Are you like most of us? Do you prefer to run away from conflict rather than deal with it?
I hate conflicts, especially when I feel misunderstood. A friend and I are in the middle of a disagreement. At the moment, we’re both angry, and we both want to be heard. But it seems our anger (and our certainty that we’re right) is affecting our hearing.
Venting my feelings may make me feel better in the short term, but when the Holy Spirit convicts me of my sin, I’ll feel worse than ever. Instead, I’d like to think loving thoughts about my friend. I want my attitude to reflect the unconditional love I receive from God. I’d also like to see my own ways in a truer light.
I’ll be praying Psalm 139:23-24 (AMPC) often:
Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Isn’t this a perfect verse for my friend and me?
Could you use this verse, too? What relationships would benefit from praying this verse? Think about your marriage, your church, your community – and especially your country?
What would happen if we invited God to examine our hearts and ways? And then listened for Him to speak words of wisdom, discernment and love into our hearts?
Since we’re unable to change the other person (but don’t we always want to?), we can benefit from asking God to show us where we’re wrong, to reveal our own faults and point out areas we need to change.
As difficult as this is, we absolutely must choose (I emphasize “choose”) to do so in order to have mature and God-honoring relationships. Think of how it would change our communities and lead to a more united America.
This leads me to an important point.
Thursday, May 6, is the National Day of Prayer. I invite you, for the month of May, to ask God to help you see and love the one you’re in conflict with the way He sees and loves them. Then extend that prayer to include those who, rather than running from conflict, seem to run toward it. Those who create division over every issue.
I fervently pray we’ll not only refuse to allow conflict to interrupt our personal relationships, but also refuse to allow conflict to divide us as a nation.
Rather, let us resolve to see ourselves – and each other – in a truer light.
What do you think?
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. (Others might also benefit from your comment.)
- How would it change you if you invited God to examine your heart and ways?
- What would happen if you listened for Him to speak words of wisdom, discernment and love into your hearts regarding your relationships?
- How would taking these steps change your relationships?
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Thank you for the pertinent reminders of how we are to conduct ourselves when angry. I’ve already had the opportunity to practice this in my new apartment where this lady told me she was allowed to park in my parking spot and I wasn’t. She said she had parked there for years and I would have to find some other place to park. I kid you not and she looked ready to fight me over it. I think she must have intimidated the last tenant. I didn’t get into with her because christians don’t do that, but I did stand my ground, firmly and calmly and we decided we would let the manager decide. She stopped parking in my spot. Apparently the manager explained it to her.And I don’t have any guilt for how I handled it. I was seeking God’s wisdom the whole time. My mental framework is I want to be a missionary where I’m at and I want to conduct myself appropriately.
Wow! I am so impressed, Barbara. WAY.TO.GO.
I love your heart, dear friend.
Thank you for reminding me of this verse, Sheryl. Especially when I am reminded of how I judged another.
Truth be told, Sharri, I needed to be reminded of this verse too!! OFTEN. LOL
Sheryl my hubby had a conflict a while back with a close friend. We really like this person and,we do not mind running errands for him. Yet one day he wanted us to do something he could do on his day off. It put hubby in a hard spot. As for me i was thinking about hubby. Since he gets up at 3:00 am to go to work.
We also had worked things out for another person to run his Mom for the appointment on a different day.it was tough for me but,i stood my ground because i felt our friend was so use to my hubby saying yes to helping. I will say when i said no he was caught off guard. Thankfully friends were praying me through this and ,we resolved the problem without any hard feelings.i love this Bible verse. Praying for you my sister in Christ!
Thank you for your prayers, dear Susan. Thankfully, by the time you read this, God had already intervened.
Praise God for His goodness in caring about those we care about – even those we’re in conflict with.
I’m SO GLAD God worked it out for you, your husband and your friend, too.
You brought up an important point – two actually. We must hold our ground, when appropriate. Always with a Christ-like attitude. You are blessed to have friends who knew to pray for you.
I appreciate your heart, Susan.
(I came back to say that I just saw that you shared this post on your FB page. Thank you!!)