How resentment affects us
Remember when you were newly married? You loved doing whatever you could for your spouse. You found yourself humming while emptying the dishwasher, folding laundry, even scrubbing toilets.
Remember when you first started a new job? How you smiled as you pitched in because you were thrilled to be part of the team?
Now that time has passed, are you still humming? Still smiling? Or are you spending more time muttering and scowling? For most of us, when people don’t sufficiently show their appreciation, we begin to feel used and taken advantage of.
Would you feel resentful if I told you 1 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV) says,
[Love is not] resentful?
It’s hard to maintain a good attitude when we don’t feel appreciated. We’re not asking for billboards to be erected in our honor, but a simple “Thank you” now and then would be nice.
If we’re not careful, though, the more we dwell on feeling overlooked, the more we resent the very people we previously found joy with.
Resentment brings out the worst in us, causing us to think and behave in ways we’d never admit. We might sabotage a coworker’s promotion by slandering his or her reputation. Or shame a family member by bringing up an unkind action from the past just to torment him or her. We know they don’t deserve our mean-spirited actions, but we’re so miserable that we want them to suffer, too – especially if they’re receiving the praises and “Atta boys” we crave.
What would happen if we completely shifted our mindset and refused to allow ourselves to feel like a martyr? What if our highest desire was to honor God in all we do? And what if we gave those we feel slighted by the benefit of the doubt, at home and at work? They’re likely aware of how much we contribute and would miss us dearly if we were to leave. But as we do at times, they allow their distractingly busy schedules to keep them from taking the time to express their gratitude.
As we allow God to change our motives, and as we grow in our ability to love others, we’ll be quicker to overlook offenses, even when we feel slighted. And miracle upon miracles, we might even find ourselves spending less time muttering and scowling and more time humming and smiling.
What about you?
You can use a pseudonym (fake name) when commenting.
- How has resentment affected your outlook on life?
- How has resentment affected your opinion of others?
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How has resentment affected your outlook on life?
How has resentment affected your opinion of others?
I make every effort not to look at what others are doing. I have taught myself it is none of my business. Well, my stepfather taught me it was none of my business what my siblings were doing when I pointed out the unfairness of the chores. I actually appreciate that lesson. Because this is a dangerous trap to fall into. Not that I am still not tempted at times to notice or react to unfairness, but when I am tempted I try to remember my Father is looking and it is Him I want to please. He is pleased when we don’t exalt self. Jesus would have just done the work without complaining or letting everyone know how much he did. God is our reward. It is easier to wait on our reward from our Father when we know he is faithful and will do what he says.
So true, Barbara! I envy you that you’ve learned this lesson at an early age. I still have a ways to go …
Okay, you know the saying “Easier said than done!” To completely shift our mindset? Yes, absolutely! I rejoice always (well, I try), pray constantly, and give thanks in all circumstances. This is God’s will as we shift from resentment to contentment!
So true! Albeit, much easier said than done! 😉
Thanks again for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment, FellowBeliever. I always love it when you do.
I’ve been on my face crying out to God for week,months now. That He’d take this from me. To teach me to look more to Him and leave others to themself. Aka Him. My heart is in many pieces at the moment and leaking of resentment for things done by mysrlfas well as others. I pray some light is shed on several issues soon. God knows all and knows whats coming forth due to the resentment. What a loss pain and sin can be. Sorry ramblinng again. Thanks for writhing this and being a vessel for Christ.
Oh, Kati. I have been aware of your suffering … and your heartfelt desire to respond in a Christlike way. PLEASE remember that you are not alone. God’s grace is very near you, closer than your pain. AND you have many friends who love you and are praying for you.
Thanks for sharing this it really got me thinking. I enjoyed this
Thank you, Margie. It always encourages me when God uses my posts!
I’m glad you stopped by Today Can Be Different … Please do so again often.