Does your husband dread coming home? Do you dread it when your husband comes home?

Marriage is hard. And when you’re in a bad place in your marriage, the last thing you want to do is read a column about how to be a better wife. Especially when you’re convinced that an article telling men how to be better husbands would be much more helpful.

Yet, here you are. And here I am. You need encouragement. You crave a miracle. And I need inspiration on how to say what I want to say without losing half my readers.

Remember on your wedding day when you pledged to love and cherish your husband for the rest of your life? How long did that last?

Don’t worry. I hear you loud and clear: “What about his promises to me?!” And round and round it goes. Both husband and wife feeling miserable and neither willing to be the first to do what it takes to get your marriage moving in the right direction.

But what’s the alternative? Do you really want to continue in the direction you’re heading? To what end? Divorce? Or to stay married, but be so miserable that both of you wish you’d never gotten married in the first place?

What would happen if, today, one of you decided to change that direction? Rather than waiting for your husband to take the first step, ask God for the grace to pray Psalm 139:24 (ESV)

[Father], see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

What would happen if you allowed God to show you the areas in which you are wrong? To show you any behavior that isn’t pleasing to Him? Then, to lead you back to His ways?

I’m not discounting or minimizing your husband’s shortcomings. But isn’t there something better than simply winning another argument? Even in the midst of the worst fight, wouldn’t that be the perfect time to take a step back and begin bridging your way to peace – and perhaps a miracle?

I know you want to be a better wife – the wife your husband thought he married. The wife you thought you’d be. I often wish it were as easy to be a good wife as it is to write about it. But I have learned a few things. In the next couple of weeks, I’ll share them with you. I hope and pray the lessons I’ve learned will make your journey a little easier.

What about you?

You can use a pseudonym (fake name) when commenting.

• Ladies, are you ready to step up and ask God to show you the areas you need to change as a wife?
• And then, to ask God for mercy – and the grace to do things differently. To do things His way?

If you’re reading by email, CLICK HERE to visit Today Can Be Different online and leave a comment.

See sidebar to subscribe to this blog and receive the most recent post to your inbox. There is no charge for this service. And, if you like this post, please consider sharing it. Thank you.