When Mother’s Day hurts
You catch your breath and let out a long sigh. Seeing photos of happy moms with their happy families popping up on Facebook always stings – but with Mother’s Day around the corner, the idyllic images hurt all the more.
“Goodbye, Facebook,” you say, closing the website. It’ll be weeks before you cautiously venture back.
Even when the world isn’t celebrating Mother’s Day, does it hurt to see moms with their children because you’ve longed to be a mother for as long as you can remember? Or maybe you’d give anything for a chance to tell your mother, “Happy Mother’s Day,” just one more time. Or you miss your mom because she’s serving in the military – or serving time in prison.
Maybe the simple sad fact is that your relationship with your mother is lacking. So, so lacking.
Perhaps you used to look forward to Mother’s Day, but now your prodigal child doesn’t seem to love you all that much. The phone is deafeningly silent as you stare at the hastily-scribbled signature on the one-size-fits-all greeting card that just arrived in the mail.
And for the mom who, in spite of every mother-fiber in your being, made the difficult choice to give your child a chance for a better life, not a day goes by that you don’t wonder what your child is doing with their adoptive parents.
What is the best way to cope when Mother’s Day hurts? Is there anything you can do to take away the ache – or at least, lessen it?
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV) offers compassion and a way to find healing in the midst of your pain.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
I want to encourage you to embrace the comfort your heavenly Father offers.
Then, after you’ve experienced healing, or as a way to further your healing, ask God to use you in someone else’s life. Your pastor or a trusted community leader probably knows a young lady who could use a mentor or an elderly lady who could use a friend. You’ll be amazed at the many different ways you can comfort others with the same comfort you have received from God. By doing so, you’ll not only experience the satisfaction that comes from giving of yourself, but you may also find continued healing, comfort, and peace. Even in the depths of your desolation.
What about you?
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- Is Mother’s Day a painful holiday for you?
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I’ve wanted to be a mother for as long as I remember. I was unable to have children. I am 55 now but the pain of being childless still plagues me at this time of year. God is my Comforter. This year I am stuck in rehab with 2 broken arms and a damaged leg. I feel as broken inside as I am outside. Prayers are appreciated
Lisa! Oh my. Your comment is so painful to read – how much more so to be living. I will pray (and hope others will join me in praying) that you will experience your Heavenly Father’s love and comfort more than you’ve ever felt it before. That you will also experience a sense of purpose beginning right now – right where you are – in the midst of your physical and emotional brokenness.
Please keep in touch. THANK you for stopping by Today Can Be Different, Lisa.
Lisa I am 55 also without children I raised two for twenty years but have no relationship with them anymore despite my efforts I am pretty broken spiritually and physically but I have faith that God will give me the strength to carry on to better things. I will pray for you. This too shall pass I have to remind myself of this. God bless you
Margie, thank you SO much for reaching out to Lisa – and sharing your heart. I’m sorry you’ve also been going through such a painful time. I will continue to pray for you.
Lisa, I’ve been praying for you off and on since you’ve commented. (Also, thank you for subscribing to Today Can Be Different. I sincerely hope you will visit often and receive encouragement.)
I’m a mom. Understand that even being a mom doesn’t guarantee the kids grow up and love their moms the way they should. And…they grow up and leave the nest and sometimes never look back.
Sadly too true, Anon. Which is why I included this issue in my column. Anon, if this is true regarding you and your children, I am so very sorry for your pain!! When I finish my comment, I will stop to pray for you, Anon.
Thank you for stopping by Today Can Be Different. Please keep in touch.
Oh how this made me cry on so many levels, but I think the recommendation you posted was a great and beautiful one and could think of people I know personally who could use some love and attention during this time. Thank you God bless you
Thank you, sweet lady and friend. I certainly hope this Mother’s Day season will be a better one for you.
Thank you for dropping by again – and taking the time to share your heart and encourage Lisa AND me.
Estrangement is what Jesus experienced on the cross for bearing our sins. But He bore the cross for the joy that was held before Him. That joy is a reconciled relationship with our Father. I have four children but three are estranged. I look forward to the day that we will all be reconciled. Count me in on your prayer team!
Consider yourself counted, FellowBeliever! (Of course, you’ve been on our prayer team for a while now.)
I’m so sorry for the pain you’re going through. Being a parent isn’t for the faint of heart. I praise God for His powerful compassion.
So painful. My childhood was, shall we say, less than ideal. I still ache for what I never received from my mother, and I now have a prodigal daughter who loves me, but I’d much rather she love God. The pictures on Facebook kill me, but I remind myself that people only post the happy stuff, the fun stuff, the good times. None of us knows what goes on away from the shiny news feed. I do know there are moms and daughters with wonderful relationships, and I envy those. That envy is something I have to give to the Lord time and time again.
I’m so sorry for your pain, Cathy. I hurt for you – and will pray for you.
Please keep in touch.