I loved my sweet young kids. Still, the lies that kept me awake night after night convinced me that my children were better off without me.

Suicide is a tough topic. Its complexity brings me to my knees as I, someone who has attempted several times to take my own life, want desperately to deliver the right message to you.

September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day. If you or someone you love is contemplating taking their life, I’d like to share a couple of things that helped me – and what didn’t.

Many people experience a season of depression following a death or trauma. Chemical imbalances in the brain can also cause depression. This was true in my case.

• Taking the right medication for a prescribed time helped me reach a level of stability that allowed me to process my thoughts and feelings more clearly.

• If I’d had a cell phone back then, I’d have programmed the Suicide Hotline in my phone. Today, in the U.S., dialing 988 connects you to the 24/7 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 

• Feeling safe in sharing my feelings also helped.

I could feel my anxiety lessen when someone assured me they understood how hard my struggle was. Their empathy made it easier to hear (and believe) that God loved me and wasn’t disappointed with me.

Their prayers with me and for me gave me hope to believe that better days were possible – that life could be worth living.

I learned, however, that when I leaned too much on my friends, I felt “sicker,” and they felt drained.

• Thankfully, we discovered the importance of gentle accountability, such as when they’d suggest a “doable” task like showering.

These “easy” tasks always made me feel better about myself and gave me the oomph to accomplish something else (like making my bed). This plan also kept our relationship healthier.

When depression swallows up everything good . . .,

• I encourage you to make an appointment with a reputable Christian counselor.

A biblically based counselor can help you discover God’s unconditional love and the life-giving power in His Word.

• Then spend time reading the Bible to catch a glimpse of God’s love and care for you.

Please open your heart to your heavenly Father. Be honest about what you’re experiencing and feeling. You won’t shock Him.

Space prevents me from saying more. But before I close …

Don’t give up. Hang in there, at least for the rest of today.

Then, hang in there tomorrow too. If you believe your life is over or that others would be better off without you, trust me as one who has been there – it’s simply not true. You have a purpose. Your life matters.

You matter.

What about you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. (Your comment might also benefit others.)

• How may we pray for you?

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