Do You Need Help When Praying for Your Spouse?
Have you begun praying for your husband or wife and gotten sidetracked into telling God all the ways they irritate you?
Before you know it, rather than standing in the gap for your spouse, you’re sitting in judgment against them. Each time I “pray” this way, my heart for Bert becomes less soft and warm and more hard and cold. I feel less and less united with him.
Yet, the message of Mark 10:8-9 (ESV) is clear:
“And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
In marriage, a man and a woman – two people – become a single unit. The most closely-knit team possible. The ultimate dream team.
“Yeah, right,” you say. “Not in my marriage.”
And I would answer, “Not in mine either, some of the time. Actually, a lot of the time.”
Yet when I subtly change the way I pray for Bert, I’m able to return to the one-flesh feeling. When my prayers for him head south, I add the words “my husband” to my prayers.
“Father, Bert is staying later and later at the office. It makes me so mad!” becomes, “Father, Bert is staying later and later at the office. Please help my husband know how much I love him.”
Strangely enough, whenever I talk to God about Bert and use the phrase “my husband,” I soften a little on the inside. The Holy Spirit will often shift my prayer in a more compassionate direction, causing me to bond with him.
Using these two words can be especially important when our spouse is going through a season of weakness or is in the midst of a trial. There’s something beautifully unifying when we intercede for our husband or wife this way. Beautiful in the way God transforms our feelings about our spouse. Unifying in the way God knits our spirit with our husband or wife’s spirit.
I’m thankful for God’s gentle correction about whom I’m praying for. He reminds me that I’m praying for … my husband. A part of me. A part of my flesh.
Because what therefore God has joined together, let not man … let not me … separate.
What about you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. (Your comment might also benefit others.)
- Will using the words “my husband” or “my wife” help you to pray more effectively for your spouse?
– and for your marriage?
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I’m thankful for God’s gentle correction about whom I’m praying for. He reminds me that I’m praying for … my husband. A part of me. A part of my flesh.
WOW Sheryl,
You have NO idea how much your post hit right on target today!
My husband & I have been at SERIOUS odds over a Thanksgiving week disagreement . I feel hurt to the core & he sees me as the one at fault.
He is sleeping downstairs in his mancave & not speaking.
It’s been SO difficult to pray…
Thank you for your inspiration & insight.
Hi, ML. I am so, so, SO sorry for the pain you and your husband are each experiencing right now. Thank you for reading my post and for sharing how we can pray for both of you.
I will pray for you and your husband, ML.
Thank you for stopping by Today Can Be Different. Please keep in touch.
ML, Susan (see below) asked me to let you know that she will be praying for you and your husband!
Sheryl This hit me right in my heart. I know you and I have talked about praying for our spouses before. I am a work in progress. I want the holy spirit to guide me on how to pray for my husband. I may share this article with him.So He will know how to pray for me. I really am thankful you are allowing God to use your talents of ministering to others .Let ML know I will pray for her and her husband.
I love your comment, Susan, on so many levels. I especially love that you will be sharing this with Lance so that you can both more effectively pray for each other. AND I am thrilled to let ML know that you will be praying for her and her husband.
I appreciate you, Susan.
ML and Susan, let’s pray for each other ~ and our husbands ~ that God will help us pray for our spouses and our marriages!
I will join you both in that prayer.
Wonderful!
Immediately when I sense tension between Tom and me, I pray that God softens our hearts towards one another and that I appreciate Tom more for who he is and in all he does for me! Then we see the way the Lord wants us to be together as one! One in Spirit and in flesh. Thanks Sheryl!✝️❤️
Wow!! I have no doubt that God is honored in your marriage, Kim. Well done.