When Insecurities or Ambitions Sabotage Our Relationships
Do you suffer from low self-esteem? Do you pine for the pat on the back from your boss and the applause from your peers that never happens? You hide it well, but you’re worn out from constantly repenting for being so beastly jealous.
Or perhaps you struggle with another type of performance-related behavior. Maybe you’re ambitious – sometimes to a fault. You always have to be the best. So much so that you have a hard time celebrating others’ success, especially when you don’t see results for all your hard work.
How have your insecurities or high-performance attitudes affected your relationships?
In years past, I found myself in both scenarios. Some days I still struggle with these feelings.
If this message resonates with you, will you join me in asking God to show us when we need to take our focus off ourselves so we can properly love the people in our lives? Not just those we “compete” with, but with everyone we interact with.
I appreciate how John 13:34 (ESV) addresses this:
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
Imagine loving others – as Christ loves us.
Loving others on this level would help us participate in life in a healthy, Christlike way. It would change our relationships at work, diminish our mean-spirited competitiveness and, as we consider how much God loves us, lessen our insecurities.
Consider what would happen if we applied this week’s verse in all our relationships. For instance, if I treated my husband, Bert, with John 13:34 in mind, it would change my marriage.
When we, as God’s beloved children, no longer act as if life is all about us, we begin to see others and their needs in a clearer light. We begin to see ourselves in a clearer light too. When we love others as Christ loves us, we become different people. More confident. Less selfish. More humble.
Our witness (the way we live in front of those who are watching us) is no longer compromised when we behave – and love – like the One Who loves us magnificently.
For the rest of this Christmas season and into the new year, rather than comparing ourselves to others or seeing our co-workers or family members as rivals, let’s, as God’s dearly loved children, forsake our insecurities and selfish ambitions – and watch how it changes our relationships.
What about you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. (Others might also benefit from your comment.)
- How have your insecurities or high-performance attitudes affected your relationships?
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I can relate to this where it comes to loving my husband more, but as I used to be more competitive in the work place and have insecurities when I was younger, I don’t struggle with this as I used to do in the past. I depend on God’s confidence and wait on Him more, and really don’t worry so much about how others think of me anymore. Maybe retirement has helped with this, as I’m more relaxed than I used to be. We can all learn more how to love others as Christ loves us, though! I know I can certainly improve in this area. Thanks Sheryl!✝️
Me too! I need God’s help every day to love others — as He loves me.
Thank you, Kim, for stopping by. It means a lot to me.
Sheryl thank you for this article today.I am seeking God to help me love others as he loves us, and help me to see others through his eyes. In this time of my broken heart. Yet i am reminded I don’t know what he is doing but,I know what he has done for me and, I know he has already Won.
Amen!! He has, INDEED, already won – which means you have already won through Christ.
Keep your mind and heart on God. Take captive every thought (and emotion) and make them obedient to Christ by focusing on His Word, His faithfulness – and His tremendous love for you and everyone involved in the situation.
I love you, Susan. Please keep us posted!
A nice message but because I’ve matured over the years, I no longer have the needs mentioned. I suppose that’s one positive trait of being older. Things once a problem in the past very often don’t apply any longer.
Wow!! That’s a real motivation to persevere!
Thank you, Sandra.
Not sure why my blog keeps going offline. Sorry about that.
Thankfully, Today Can Be Different is live, once again!