Resentment Brings Out the Worst In Us
Remember when you were newly married? You loved doing whatever you could for your spouse. You found yourself humming while emptying the dishwasher, mowing the lawn, even scrubbing toilets.
Do you recall when you first started that new job? How you smiled as you pitched in because you were thrilled to be part of the team?
Now that time has passed, are you still humming? Still smiling? Or do you spend more time muttering and scowling? When people don’t sufficiently show their appreciation, most of us begin to feel used and taken advantage of.
Would you feel resentful if I told you 1 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV) says,
[Love is not] resentful?
Maintaining a good attitude is hard when we don’t feel appreciated. We’re not asking for billboards to be erected in our honor, but a simple “thank you” now and then would be nice.
If we’re not careful, though, the more we dwell on feeling overlooked, the more we resent the very people we previously found joy with.
Resentment brings out the worst in us, causing us to think and behave in ways we’d never admit to. We might sabotage a coworker’s promotion by slandering his or her reputation. Or shame a family member by bringing up an unkind action from the past just to torment him or her. We know they don’t deserve our mean-spirited actions, but we’re so miserable that we want them to suffer too – especially if they’re receiving the praises and “attaboys” we crave.
What would happen if we completely shifted our mindset and refused to allow ourselves to feel like a martyr? Especially during this National Volunteer Appreciation Month, what if our highest desire was to honor God in all we do? And what if we gave those by whom we feel slighted the benefit of the doubt, at home and at work? They’re likely aware of how much we contribute and would miss us dearly if we were to leave. But, as we also do at times, they allow their distractingly busy schedules to keep them from taking the time to express their gratitude.
As we allow God to change our motives and grow in our ability to love others, we’ll be quicker to overlook offenses, even when we feel slighted. And, miracle of miracles, we might even find ourselves spending less time muttering and scowling and more time humming and smiling.
What about you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. (Your comment might also benefit others.)
- How has resentment affected your outlook on life?
- How has resentment affected your opinion of others?
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I can not begin to tell you how much this devotion speaks to me. Thank you so much for reading my mind sweet Sheryl.❤️
Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you, Marla? Thank you again for stopping by!
Thank YOU!❤️
You mentioned some good points.
Transformation can happen through faith and a lot of prayers.
About 2 years ago I started on a mission to change the bickering that went on in our marriage. I prayed hard and when my husband would start bickering or criticizing, I’d send a silent prayer up to let him argue alone. Little by little all bickering stopped and he is so helpful and appreciates everything I do.
It’s a true miracle so miracles can happen but we as spouses very often have to initiate it.
Be sincere and stick with it through constant prayers and faith. Jesus is the answer.
Is it difficult, it is extremely at the onset. Believe me, it is well worth it.
How I LOVE your testimony, Sandra! Thank you for sharing pieces of your story, bit-by-bit!
It’s the God given truth and owe it all to Jesus. He stuck by me and even when I sat on the toilet crying and praying.
I just can’t get over how perfect things are.
He now thanks me for each day that we’re together.
I want others to know that a positive change is possible.
Wow! Beautiful!!
By the way, if your husband would ever like to share a comment on this blog, we’d be delighted to hear from him, Sandra!
My husband is Greek Orthodox and most Greeks are ingrained in their faith from the time of their infant baptism.
He does respect when ever I watch an online Christian broadcast.
On the top of my Gratitude Journal, I’ve attached a short but sweet message to him after I’ve been raptured. It is my hope that by my testimony and changed attitude will cause him to receive Jesus at the beginning of the tribulation.
I’m just so full of joy and let my husband see my exuberance and I want others to know that change doesn’t happen by accident. It’s almost like being at an AA needing. We have to take the initiative.
Thanks for listening to me and giving others a chance to change.
I will pray for your husband, Sandra!
Oh yes, this is so true, but I find myself in this camp more than I’d like to admit! Please Lord help me to be more thankful for the little things! Yesterday, I was upset with myself when I was unable to fix a piece of jewelry I broke awhile back, but when my husband was able to fix one of my favorite broken clocks, I was thrilled and thankful for his efforts to make me happy! I need more days like this! Thanks Sheryl! I needed this reminder!✝️
Thank you, Kim. Truth be told, I find myself in this camp probably more often than you!
If we’re not careful the more we dwell on feeling overlooked, the more we resent the very people we previously found joy with.