Should We Have Warned Our Spouse at the Altar?
Standing there before God and man, I grasped my soon-to-be-husband’s hands tightly. “I need to confess something, Bert. I haven’t quite mastered 1 Corinthians 13:5 yet. So, maybe I’d be more honest if I said my vows this way: ‘I, Sheryl, take you, Bert, to be my husband if you don’t insult me, hurt my feelings, or do anything to upset me from this day forward, until death do us part.’”
Even though my revised wedding vows would have more honestly revealed the woman Bert was about to spend the rest of his life with, I didn’t actually reword them almost 18 years ago. I have no doubt, however, that he would’ve appreciated the warning.
This week we’re focusing on the third challenge in 1 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV):
[Love] is not irritable.
The Amplified Bible makes sure we get the point:
It is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered].
What?! Irritable?! Overly sensitive?! Easily Angered?! Me?! When do I ever act like that?!
But seriously, don’t you hate it when your behavior escalates the problem? Would the people in your life benefit if you meditated on and applied 1 Corinthians 13:5?
Let’s meditate on this week’s verse to prevent walking-on-eggshell moments, especially when we’re so overly sensitive and easily angered that people would rather not be around us.
We could ask God to help us not be so thin-skinned and remind us to count to ten or, better yet, recite 1 Corinthians 13:5 (in the Amplified Bible) to give us space before we say anything we regret.
Let’s also pray for God to help us not take everything so personally. Let us ask the Holy Spirit to give us discernment to be able to perceive when someone’s comment or act wasn’t meant to be hurtful – and, if necessary, give us grace to forgive.
We can pray with confidence because God knows us well. He knows the areas we’re the most sensitive. He knows our triggers. And thankfully, He knows how much we want to behave in ways that honor Him.
On my worst days, the more I meditate on Scripture and focus on God (all He is to me – and I to Him) the more I experience satisfaction, peace, and joy, as well as less frustration, anger and hurt. I’m calmer. Less defensive.
Less likely to blow it.
When we trust God’s love for us, we become better at loving others. The better we become at loving others, the less we’ll wonder if we should’ve given our spouse a warning before they said, “I do.”
What about you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. (Others might also benefit from your comment.)
- How would the people in your life benefit if you meditated on and applied 1 Corinthians 13:5?
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The photo is a wedding picture of Bert and me at the altar. 🙂
Really thought worthy post. It made me recall hearing the words from a guy I dated, “You remind me of my grandmother. She takes everything personally like you do!” I thought about it and knew he was right. I did try to reform. I am not perfect but have had fifty years to learn to do better Thank you for the excellent reminder.
I appreciate your transparency, Janice. I genuinely believe that others will read your comments and will appreciate your words also!
Thank you again for stopping by Today Can Be Different! It means a lot to me, Janice.
Amen to your comment about meditating on the word of the Lord.
It can make a huge difference in the way we relate to our spouses.
Miracles happen every day so make it a priority to lean on Jesus and pray without ceasing and a miracle can happen in our lives.
Amen! Amen!! Indeed! God is POWERFUL. Meditating on His Word, spending time with Him, and obeying Him will bring us surpassing peace in the midst of our relationships ~ including our marriages.
Thank you, Sandra, for the reminder.
I can so totally relate to how you wanted to re-word the wedding vows! I think all women can relate to it!!! Thank you, Sheryl
Thank you, Susie! I would love for you to meet Bert. And please tell Tim hello for me.
I believe if all of us were honest, we’d know that there was no way we would have known what it is to make those vows before God and our husbands/wives and keep them let alone all the things it takes to be committed to them. Plus that we are not easily angered, or defensive and patient, loving one another as Christ loves us! It seems insurmountable, but with God all things are possible! I’m so glad I have learned that when I depend on Him and His Love our marriage goes more smoothly, never perfect, but easier! Thanks Sheryl!✝️
That’s key, Kim. It is when, as you said, we depend on Christ and His love for us, “our marriage goes more smoothly, never perfect, but easier!”
Amen!!
Thank you for stopping by Today Can Be Different, Kim. I always appreciate it.
Don’t forget to pray and have faith to make changes.
For sure, Sandra!! Prayer and faith produce the godly character we strive for.
It is important. By any statistic or guidebook, I think my marriage has had enough thrown at it by external forces that would have destroyed most by now. Statistically, it was doomed to fail before it started. When couples are at the wedding altar, their vows are sincere and well intentioned. Especially with younger couples, little do they know the freight trains that are coming and they had better not be stalled on the tracks. There will be many storms ahead and uncharted territory. They had better find a way to get through them and further thrive. It is always difficult because it is a first time for it and one can’t rely on previous experience. In my premarital orientation class with a church with other couples in the Tallahassee area, my fiance and I seemed to be the oldest ones there though we were in our early twenties. That was forty years ago. I wonder how many are still married. We have a goal for 50! As to what makes for a long term marriage in the face of adversity is beyond the scope of this reply, but 1 Corinthians 13:5 is a start.
Hello, Robert. Nice to see you again. I always appreciate (and even enjoy) your comments.
Congratulations on making 40 years in spite of all the “external forces”.