Have you begun praying for your husband and gotten sidetracked into telling God all the ways he irritates you? 

Before you know it, rather than standing in the gap for your spouse, you’re sitting in judgment against him. Each time I “pray” this way, my heart for Bert becomes less soft and warm and more hard and cold. Consequently, I feel less and less united with him. 

However, the message of Mark 10:8-9 (ESV) is clear: 

“And the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. 

In marriage, a man and a woman – two people – become a single unit. The most closely-knitted team possible. The ultimate team. 

 “Yeah, right,” you say. “Not in my marriage.” 

And I would answer, “Not in mine either, some of the time. Actually, a lot of the time.” 

Yet when I subtly change the way I pray for Bert, I’m able to return to the one-flesh feeling. When my prayers for him head south, I add the words “my husband” to my prayers. When I do, the Holy Spirit will often shift my prayer in a more compassionate direction. 

“Father, Bert is staying later and later at the office. It makes me so mad!” becomes, “Father, my husband is staying later and later at the office. Please help Bert know how much I love him.”

Strangely enough, whenever I talk to God about Bert and use the phrase, “my husband,” I soften a little on the inside. It somehow bonds me with him. 

Using these two words can be especially important when your spouse is going through a season of weakness or is in the midst of a trial. 

There’s something beautifully unifying when we intercede for our husbands this way. Beautiful in the way God transforms our feelings about our husbands. Unifying in the way God knits our spirits with our husbands’ spirits.

I’m thankful for God’s gentle correction about whom I’m praying for. He reminds me that I’m praying for … my husband. A part of me. A part of my flesh.

Because what therefore God has joined together, let not man … let not me … separate.

What do you think? 

• Will using the words “my husband” help you to pray more effectively for your husband  – and for your marriage? 

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